Take me back to the start
by saturn-serenity
Summary: The fourth Doctor returns to an old companion to tell her how he really feels... I think this is what you would call 'fluffy' Done to the song 'The Scientist' by Coldplay


**Ok Folks so here is what you need to know-**

**This is something I made up and this is meant to be the fourth doctor saying all these things to her. This is before his regeneration but after Leela and Romana. I hope that makes sense. I was also experimenting with trying to write a thing to a song. It interested me and I wanted to have a go at it. I probably got it all wrong so I hope this makes sense and let me know what you think all constructive comments are welcome just dont be too mean about it! The song is called 'The Scientist' by Coldplay**

**Also: I dont own anything that is affiliated with .......or Colplay**

I watch as you walk towards your car, you are still beautiful. Your smile widens when you saw me across the street. I feel myself return your smile and my feet seem to be moving on their own and suddenly I am standing in front of you. My throat seems to close up and all I can do is look at my feet. How do I tell you how sorry I am? How do I tell you how much I miss you?

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are_

_I had to find you, tell you I need you  
Tell you I set you apart_

I can see you have aged just as gracefully as I knew you would. Without even looking up from my feet, I can tell you are still smiling. That you can still smile after everything you have seen and done is wonderful. I get the courage to look up at your face and seeing your smile I feel myself begin to relax. You always had a way of making me feel at ease that I couldn't and didn't want to understand. I know this is probably my last chance to tell you how much you mean to me. How much I need you. I quickly eat a jellybaby and finding the rest of my courage I begin to pour my soul out.

_Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions  
Oh let's go back to the start  
Running in circles, coming up tails  
Heads on a silence apart_

I watch your smile fade into confusion expression as you ask me why I'm telling you this. It was the same expression from our last departure, when I had told you that you had to go home and you couldn't go with me. I remember seeing in your eyes that you hoped I would come back and get you once I got back but you never asked out loud if I would. I could see what you had desperately wanted to say but you had kept it a secret, probably thinking I wouldn't want to hear it. Back then I probably didn't but now I wish you had told me what you were thinking. I had sent you home, back to the start, to live a normal life, your time with me fading into a fond memory.

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures  
Pulling the puzzles apart  
Questions of science, science and progress  
Do not speak as loud as my heart_

At the time I had had no choice. I had thought of returning for you, so we could pick up where we had left off, but fate had drawn us further apart. I gained new companions but none of them compared to you. None of them seemed to understand me the way you did. They would say things and ask questions which you had asked and I would suddenly think of you and my chest would tighten. I couldn't understand why, my mind would go over and over the facts and try to determine why I felt the way I did. One night I dreamed of you and as I woke my hearts had finally told me what I had been oblivious to: I love you.

_Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me  
Oh and I rush to the start  
Running in circles, chasing our tails  
Coming back as we are_

I had always seen in your eyes that you cared for me more than you would have liked. I just had to come and find you and tell you how much I needed you, to beg you to come back to me. I want you to tell me what you wouldn't tell me all those years ago. Say you love me! Say you want to see the universe with me again! I want to go back to the start, to the way we had been but this time, I won't let you go. I will tell you how much I adore you. I won't let you be alone.

_Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said that it would be this hard  
Oh take me back to the start_

Even after telling you all this I can see the hesitation in your eyes. I feel my chest start to tighten and I don't know what I'll do if you decide it's best we part ways again. I know it won't be easy coming back but I hope we can go back to the start....to the way we were.......

_Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
I'm going back to the start_

I suddenly feel a hand caress my cheek. I look up in shock to see you smiling. Tears are in your eyes and I can see those old feelings in them again, those feelings you never told me. As you say yes I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted and a huge bubble I didn't know was there burst inside my chest and I started laughing as I gather you in my arms, tears pouring down my face. I know this start will be better than the last one. I then ask you the age old question:

"Would you like a Jellbaby?"

_Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
I'm going back to the start_

_  
_I hold out the bag and you quickly take one and pop it in your mouth still laughing at the familiar question. Right now I feel as though everything is right. I feel so happy knowing I have you......my Sarah Jane

** Fin**


End file.
